They call in droves. Choking the telephone lines they wait to pour out their stories, sharing joys, disappointments, conflicts. They want advice. They want to dispense advice. They are enthusiastic and eager or they have a tragedy or crisis to share. Their voices fill with emotion: sometimes eliciting disagreement and sometimes causing an emotional contagion in the multitude that is tuned in.
What makes listeners call – the thrill of being on air or chatting with a radio host? Is it the opportunity to connect with others in a sort of community? Is it the desire for approval of the host or other listeners?
People call because they want their story told, they want to be listened to. They feel the need to share that part of themselves which has remained unresolved.
This need is so overwhelming that at times when no sharing is called for- like when the program host is holding a discussion and inviting opinion- callers still describe their situation or story, sometimes in excruciating detail, derailing the entire exercise. Some of those who call in are confused, stuck, obviously still distressed and in need of resolution- a need that is obviously beyond the scope of the program. It would seem that the themes of programs touch raw spots, rekindle painful memories and cause people to call in to share the angst. It is an impulse born out of the urgent need to share and connect.
In that case why do they not call help lines or counseling centers that can help them resolve their dilemmas or hurt? If stigma is the reason counseling is not sought, then is it not stigma to share your name and story with hundreds and thousands of listeners? Is it possible that in spite of so much being written about counseling and the need for it at crucial times in our lives, it is still a misunderstood concept? Is it still confused with having psychiatric problems and sought out only as a last resort?
How healthy is it for callers to share their distress in a forum where they can get a warm response from a program host they have come to ‘know’ and feel familiar with, but who cannot help them with resolution? A forum that does not allow feedback? Is there then a danger that the short term relief that comes from sharing will prevent them from seeking sustained help? Countless missed opportunities come to mind- helping a mother who was given the feedback she was expecting too much from her child to understand how she could deal with her anxiety, an adolescent who needed to hear she did not have to bear the responsibility of keeping her parents together, a woman on the verge of walking out who could have been helped to make an informed decision, helping a man who questioned himself after a break up deal with self esteem issues. These are just the tip of the iceberg. Numerous people who need, and could benefit from, counseling call radio hosts every single day.
There is a real dilemma here. It is only a few channels that invite a participation of ‘real’ people as opposed to a ‘dumbed down’ interaction. This is commendable and required. But then ‘real’ sharing requires ‘real’ intervention that can be provided by counseling centers and help lines. And that is who people should be calling after they call their favorite radio hosts.