SOMETIMES IN BITTERNESS

Get out of my life, Man
Walk out of my door
Here, take your burden of ‘manly’ concerns with you
Also guilt
Out of my door, out of the gate
Watch it! Don’t trip over haste that trails close behind.
Take your obligatory hand away from my shoulder
Preoccupation makes it sit heavy
It weighs a ton
Makes breathing difficult (I stifle a scream of exasperation)

Let the winds fly away with your words
Nonchalant, they don’t reach the place it hurts anyway.
Don’t bother phrasing carefully
your facile reassurance
Hear it ring hollow when most needed?

Don’t try and hide the glance that slips away
To your cellphone, the TV screen, the waiter that hovers, the people who happen to cross your line of vision
Because you couldn’t see the pain in my eyes even if you looked into them
Go away, Man
Take your ‘love’ with you
It does not ring true

Walk out of my door.
Out the gate
Go.

Hmmm

I want to write but can't. I have no words, thoughts fail me. In the cage of my mind there is no opening for them. Everything reverberates inside, reflecting in the small space and bouncing off the inside upon itself till it becomes a dark, murky, swampy, floaty, mushy, soft, hard, dark, full of holes, cheesy, mouldy, rodenty, ferrety, quicksilvery, shiny, glittery, darkly forbidding .......mess